Comments on: Do You Work With My Neighbor’s Child?…What Do You Do?

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 19:46:44 +0000

I like how you say this, Jennifer. Very polite and it gets the point across!

By: Jen Sievers

Jen Sievers — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 19:08:21 +0000

I usually just say something to the effect “I’m so sorry but since confidentiality is very important to us, I can’t say if I do or not” then I usually notice something that the child is doing and use that to sort of “change the topic” to start into the visit. I’ve never really found that it’s TOO uncomfortable or awkard and the family almost always just moves on….

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 17:29:52 +0000

In reply to Colleen Gleason.

So funny, Colleen! I’m very familiar with the “deer in the headlights” look! Sometimes I think it’s inevitable as we try to quickly think about how to handle a situation like this. It really is a diplomatic situation that needs to be handled respectfully, especially in smaller towns where everyone often knows everyone else.

By: Colleen Gleason

Colleen Gleason — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 17:07:35 +0000

Great question.
Loved Mary Elen’s evasive technique of “what a doll baby!” before changing the subject. I typically run my very sophisticated “deer in the headlights” look, trying to diplomatically deal with the question!

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 15:05:08 +0000

In reply to Mary Ellen Plitt.

I agree, Mary Ellen, that saying something simple about not discussing families has a double benefit – it makes the boundary clear and lets the family who is asking know that their privacy will be respected too.

By: Mary Ellen Plitt

Mary Ellen Plitt — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 21:49:21 +0000

This is a common dilemma in small communities, especially. However, when working with families who have figured out that you also work with someone they know, most really appreciate it when you say say, “We don’t discuss the folks we work with”, because it means we won’t discuss them either.

Of course, when the jig is up, you can always run some evasive line, such as, “What a doll baby”, before changing the subject. That approach is avoidant without being insulting.