Comments on: Names are Important: Please Don’t Call Me “Mom”

By: Non profit for Women

Non profit for Women — Fri, 24 Feb 2023 13:13:40 +0000

The motherhood journey can be isolating, especially for new moms. We need to create communities that support and uplift one another, whether that’s through local mom groups, online forums, or social media.

By: Carla Vied, MA, IECE

Carla Vied, MA, IECE — Mon, 29 Mar 2021 15:32:26 +0000

Thank you for this reminder. I think that I have fallen into this habit for two reasons. The first because I would for get the parents names when I first started swing the family. Secondly, the notes that I enter into our electronic system is not supposed to have name identification. So I usually write “mom” or grandmother” on my paper notes during the session. I will be more purposeful to remember and call caregivers by their name.

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Mon, 04 Nov 2013 15:28:36 +0000

In reply to Lauren.

Exactly! You make a powerful point, Lauren – this is like another version of people-first language. Most of us don’t think about “mom” or “dad” as a title but it really is. Thanks for sharing your insights!

By: Lauren

Lauren — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 14:29:07 +0000

It was great to see this article. I agree that it is so important to address parents by their names, rather than just calling them mom and dad. It almost feels like another type of people first language, making sure that we are addressing the parent as an individual person rather than just as their title. It seems as though this would aid in building the parent-provider relationship.

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 17:46:38 +0000

In reply to Lee Porridge.

Thanks, Lee! This is not a new concept but persists, doesn’t it? I’m at a fantastic EI/EC conference this week and hear parents called “mom” or “dad” everywhere. It’s something we don’t think about but really should.

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 17:42:54 +0000

In reply to Allan Phillips.

I agree, Allan. Taking the time to think about the nuances, as you say, of our practices is important. Things that seem small like names or who you make eye contact with on a visit can make such a difference. I was just in a conference presentation this morning with a parent presenter who shared that the fact that one EI team member never looked at or talked to her during the assessment (and instead talked to her mother) made her sure that she did not want to work with that person. The nuances really do matter.

By: Lee Porridge

Lee Porridge — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 15:04:52 +0000

I first heard this from Robin McWilliam, years ago. Glad you’re spreading the word too!

By: Allan Phillips

Allan Phillips — Tue, 23 Jul 2013 19:27:06 +0000

This was an interesting observation and discussion that I frankly had not thought about but have witnessed happening and admittedly done by myself.

Good advice to ask what folks want to be addressed by. This points out to me how we do need to study and talk about what is actually happening in our practices and are these practices really family centered. Certainly empowerment and respect are key concepts of family centeredness and this simple obervation highlights how nuanced our practices can be.

Thanks

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Fri, 19 Jul 2013 14:07:14 +0000

In reply to Amy Cocorikis.

Such a great strategy, Amy!! I am also really bad at remembering names unless I write them down. I used to repeat the parent’s name in my head until I sat down and could write it down. I like the idea that this strategy could help the interventionist and the family – imagine trying to remember the names of 3-4 strangers that just entered your home and sat in your floor! Imagine, too, what we’d think if the parent just called us “teacher” or “therapist” instead of our names! 🙂

By: Amy Cocorikis

Amy Cocorikis — Fri, 19 Jul 2013 13:58:43 +0000

One person’s pet peeve is another person’s “aha moment”!! I’m so glad you reminded us how important it is to ask family members what they would like us to call them, as well as what names they want their child to learn and use (mama vs. mommy, papa vs. dada). Another tip I have found helpful came from my own “burn and learn”. At initial evaluations, when the entire team showed up to the family’s home together, we were in the habit of introducing ourselves as we entered and then heading to the space where we would begin. I am notoriously bad with remembering names and was embarrassed to ask the parent to repeat themselves, so I would sometimes resort to “mom” or “dad”. I asked our team if we could wait until we all got seated in the living room to make our introductions and was then able to write down what the family members names were and how to address them! Not only was I better prepared, but I hope this also helped decrease the confusion for the family when a large group of new faces entered their home!