Thanks for bringing up such great points, Nasir. These factors affect the father’s role in his family, as you said, his view of intervention, and certainly his interactions with intervention providers. It’s our job to find a way to support him and meet the family where they are without judging how their roles work. I’ve heard people say “families define themselves” which is true, but then think of this as excusing providers from trying to include both parents because the mother is the main person participating in visits. By asking good questions, maybe scheduling a visit or two when the father is home, videotaping sessions so he can see what happens, or touching base with him by phone – all of these are relatively simple strategies providers can use to try to include fathers. Like you said, they too want what’s best for their children and we want them on the EI team!

That is really interesting and not all that surprising! I think getting perspectives from both parents is so important for a complete picture of the family. Thanks for replying, David!

It is interesting when we have a father sit in on the Routines-Based Interview (infrequently) he will often rate routines higher than the mother. For example the mother might report that the toddler runs away during diaper-changing time and it is a “hellish” several minutes for them. The father might report the child does just fine with him. It is also not unusual to see fathers rate their favorite time of the day different than the mother. The RBI offers opportunities for families to discuss openly their differences in perceptions. Most of the times it is enlightening to them and fun!

As always, David, you share a great perspective and practical ideas! I agree that finding a way to engage and relate to the father is the key. One time, I “won over” a father by knowing about wrestling (the TV show kind). Once the dad knew that I knew who the characters were (my husband was a fan), then we had a way to relate and I was accepted.

Thanks for sharing the ideas from your staff too! Since I haven’t used the RBI, I’m curious – do you find differences in how fathers respond to it??

Thanks Allan! I LOVE the idea of a monthly pizza night. How many fathers usually attend? Do you plan topics/speakers for them or just keep it open (which is what it sounds like in your comment)? Thinking about how to relate to fathers seems especially important to me because the vast majority of EI providers are female and would approach a pizza night from their perspective. I’d love to know more about what the dads like about it, what happens there, etc. Thanks for sharing the idea!

I have learned so much from meeting them regularly and I find that they all agree that having time with other Dads is very supportive!

Thanks Mary Ellen. You make a good point – that these ingrained beliefs come from all sides, from service providers and from families. We all bring our own beliefs into each visit and families bring theirs as well. Maybe part of our work is just making an effort to make the father feel welcome and helping him know that his part in intervention is important. I hope we hear from some fathers with their advice on this topic too!