Comments on: The Child Completely Avoids You…What Do You Do?

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 20:07:08 +0000

Great points, David. I love your suggestions because both of them involve stepping back and re-examining the situation. I remember those feelings of being ineffective, like why can’t I get this child to interact with me…when really, as you said, there were often bigger things going on which needed to be addressed, or I was taking it personally which made it hard to figure out what to do. You make an excellent and very key point about how the interventionist is or is not supporting the grandmother. Perhaps if the interventionist in this scenario had approached her role with the family differently from the beginning, then things might have been very different. Once that expectation is set up – that the provider is primarily here to “treat” the child – it’s a very hard one to change.

By: David Munson

David Munson — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 17:32:05 +0000

I wonder if little Shy Guy reacts this way with others? There is a reason (function) for his response to the home visitor but it may not be only this “stranger”. The question to explore is, “WHY is he responding this way?” Perhaps the social/emotional realm is an area to explore deeper. The reaction, “You feel like you are not being very effective” reflects a little too much on the home visitor. Rather than focus on your feelings the focus could be on the grandmother’s feelings…with a question like, “I wonder if I am being effective with the grandmother?” With too much focus on the “absent” child it could be assumed by the grandmother that the primary focus is to get hands on the child. The Magic Toy is out-of-bounds in my mind, because it does not address the core of our work. I LOVE the last paragraph of this blog…and I’d follow that advice every day!