Comments on: She Answers the Door in Nothing but a Nightie…What Do You Do?

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 12:15:14 +0000

I so appreciate you adding the male perspective to this discussion, Jeff! I also think your more direct way of handling this situation can be completely appropriate, especially when boundaries have been crossed or are getting fuzzy. Indicating that you will call to reschedule rather than suggesting is probably a much more powerful way of drawing that boundary. Asking certainly does leave room for the parent to insist that the visit be held which means having to deal with the uncomfortable situation longer or even again in the future. As with many things interventionists face, the exact response is probably situation-specific but definitely needs a clear and firm response, whether the inappropriate situation was purposeful- as in flirting or for intimidation – or not.

By: Jeff Mullins

Jeff Mullins — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 07:29:48 +0000

I found it interesting that you decided to tackle this issue as it is quite an issue as professionals doing our work in homes. It is a particular dilemma for me, a male, working with predominantly mothers in their homes, often alone without their spouses. I highly value the phrase that Wilma used as well, “guardians of our own safety”. That was so well articulated. I feel an extra sense of guarding my own safety being a male working in homes. In situations such as these, I normally tell them that I will wait outside until they are dressed or that I will call to reschedule at another, more convenient time without leaving it up to them.

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 13:13:47 +0000

In reply to Cori Hill.

It sounds like you turned this awkward situation into a learning opportunity for the mother, which is wonderful Cori! It’s just shocking to me that anyone would answer the door in her undies but people’s boundaries really are different. As you and Wilma both described, there is a respectful and professional way to handle these situations…and then you just move on with the visit!

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 13:11:08 +0000

In reply to Wilma.

I really like how you say we have to be “guardians of our own safety,” Wilma. That’s a powerful phrase. Sounds like you have had a very similar encounter and handled it very well.\! Thanks for sharing your story!

By: Cori Hill

Cori Hill — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 18:04:37 +0000

Phew! This brought back a memory. I worked with a family and the mother had intellectual disabilities. Her sense of “appropriately clad” was quite different than mine. When she answered the door in her undies one day, I did tell her I’d wait outside until she was dressed. Once she was dressed and I was inside, we had a discussion about what was appropriate and inappropriate dressing for different situations.

By: Wilma

Wilma — Wed, 25 Jun 2014 15:11:49 +0000

I agree that we should always be mindful of not putting ourselves in compromising positions. We have to be the guardians of our own safety as we travel to different homes in our communities. I would definitely ask the Mom to dress more appropriately for our session. Offering another appointment time is also an option I would use. I personally have arrived at a morning appointment and had a man that I had not seen before in the home answer the door wrapped in just a sheet! He invited me inside to wait for Mom and the child. I politely but firmly told him that I would wait outside for Mom to come to the door. She came down in a nightgown; obviously I had interrupted something! I did ask her to dress more appropriately so we could play with her son on the floor and she did.