Comments on: Mommy is Asleep and the Children are Alone…What Do You Do?

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Mon, 27 Jul 2015 14:22:46 +0000

In reply to Kari.

What a great example of a how to handle this type of situation, Kari! I think you handled it beautifully. I really appreciate how you persisted to make sure the child was safe. Trusting your instincts and persisting until you had the answer you needed were the keys here. Thanks so much for sharing what you did!

By: Kari

Kari — Sun, 26 Jul 2015 13:21:36 +0000

I had a situation similiar to this last week. I feel good about trusting my instincts in how I handled it. When I arrived for a visit that was confirmed an hour prior (via a text message to a child’s mother), nobody answered the door. With each ring of the doorbell, I could hear the child cry out. I persisted for 5 minutes, but no answer. I texted and called the mom’s phone, but still no answer. I contemplated my next step as a call the service coordinator and/or police, because I was not certain about the status of the mother. After a few minutes, the mother called and had an excuse for why she could not keep our visit (that we had just confirmed!), stated she was not home and that her boyfriend was at home with the child. I wanted to make certain that the child was not home alone, so I requested that he answer the door so we could look at our calendars to reschedule (I truly wanted to make certain the child was not alone). The boyfriend came to the door and told me he was in the bathroom and didn’t hear the door. While this could certainly have been true, I felt like my first priority was making certain that the child was not left home alone. These situations are tricky because children are involved and sometimes the adults in a child’s life are not always as truthful as we’d like them to be. In the end, I left knowing the child was safe, we had follow up appointment schedule for the next day, and a sense that I did the right thing by waiting it out.

By: Dana Childress, M.Ed.

Dana Childress, M.Ed. — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:13:56 +0000

In reply to laurie.

Thanks for your insights, Laurie. You’re absolutely right – it’s really a pattern of behavior that is important when making the tough decisions. I really like your suggestion for the parent about teaching the child to not open the door. Great safety suggestion. I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave the home with the children basically unsupervised. It’s tricky, for sure, but since we are mandated reporters, we have to walk that line carefully. I agree that calling the police would be extreme, but if you can’t wake or find the parent and you have no other option, it might be an emergency measure. Certainly a very last resort. It’s also a tricky situation to write about because there are a ton of “what ifs” that would affect your decision in that moment. I’m so glad you jumped in and gave us more to think about!

By: laurie

laurie — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:02:32 +0000

I think it is interesting that there are no comments on this post. When I first read it, I thought “I’ve totally fallen asleep when my kids were awake – doesn’t every parent do that at some point?”. I think this posed situation needs clarification – when parents are really tired and stressed and this happens once or twice, I think support is what the family needs. Maybe advice on how to talk with the kids about not opening the door unless a parents says it is OK. Maybe a plan to call or text before you arrive. Calling the police seems extreme. That said, I have had a few situations where this was fairly common, and I think at that point a frank discussion with the family and a referral to CPS makes sense.