Thanks for your wise comments, David. I really love the quote you mentioned – that’s exactly the perspective to take when facing a challenge like this. I think sometimes we feel pressured to work fast because of our timelines and the sense of urgency we feel about the babies who come to us. Patience and building that supportive relationship and that network, like you suggest, is so important because this is also a learning process for the parent. We are fortunate to be a part of that learning process.

In considering the “why” question you pose above, we honor families by setting aside our own values (or those generally accepted in the EC community) and then dig deep to understand the core motivators first. It is reminiscent of Steven Covey’s wise guidance, “Seek first to understand….then to be understood.”. This helps build the relationship that is so critical in effective EI. When a parent feels understood, he/she is much more willing to listen to other views and insights.

Breaking down the lifelong aspirations into bite-sized pieces also shows respect to the family yet brings the focus to the here and now. Wisely stated!

When using a coaching interaction style during home visiting we’ve been able to open doors over time that were seemingly locked tight. In addition, by enlisting support of other key trusted people within the parents’ lives (positive strong Ecomap connectors) multiple voices of reason from different angles of view gradually help with realistic expectations. As long as we bear in mind that parenting is a long term process, we can be patient, strategic, and respectful.