Thanks Jeff! I agree, I think we all bring our own structure – the way we do things – to each visit then adapt to the family’s priorities, interests, abilities, needs, routines and activities. That’s a lot that we have to adapt to, isn’t it? 🙂 I would love to take a look at the framework you guys develop, when it’s available!

I’m so glad you found this post helpful, Mary. Keep me posted on how your team uses it and what you learn about yourselves!

Well said, Gabrielle! I couldn’t have written this any better myself! You may be a newbie but you already have wonderful insights into what it takes to partner with families. Thanks so much for adding to the discussion!

I make space for parents to make mistakes by first building that foundation of, “I am a safe person to talk to about life, which includes your child, you can be comfortable with me.” I also make sure to set the expectation that while I want to listen to you and your concerns, and that your concerns and feelings and thoughts are valid, I will also level with you if the need arises. Being a genuine person with families makes them so much more willing to work with you.

From there, I ask them to show me (a phrase I have heard a million times from my coworkers,) if they aren’t comfortable because they are afraid to mess up, I will show them and then ask them to try. I try to ALWAYS make sure to praise their effort and give encouraging feed back for every simple thing they did right BEFORE I go into what they might have missed.

Praising parents for the little things, as they are doing them is so important. We work on building the child’s confidence but can sometimes forget to speak words of encouragement and empowerment in the the parents lives as well. Once again, just my two cents as a newbie 🙂

Thanks for adding your two cents, Gabrielle! I really like what you write about flexibility and open communication which are so important for individualizing EI. I think my favorite thing that you wrote was about making space for parents to make mistakes as part of their own learning process. When we’re really doing EI well, we absolutely focus our energy on supporting the parent as a learner (not just the child). I’d love to know more about how you do this – what does it look like on your visits when you make space for the parent’s learning?

Great point too about the age of the parent sample – I hadn’t thought of that. Yes, the demographics of the parents could certainly make a difference!

Anyway, I believe it is okay for visits to “Work the same” across families with the understanding that the content of the visit can be fluid. I would never expect child A to be able and sit with me the way Child B does but, the same flow of visit still applies. Just like I would expect Mom A to attend to me in the same way Mom B does, everyone is different and being flexible is key. I have no issue with this as long as we recognize we need to be flexible. Forcing a certain flow or order of events on a family, particularly one who hails from a different culture than your own is dangerous. I believe that is where an element of the collaboration comes in. Open, honest communication is the best way to speak to anyone, and that includes parents.

As a newbie in the field, something I have noticed is the frustration that providers experience when a family isn’t doing something the way they believe they should. Yes, we want families to follow the strategies, but perhaps the learning style that particular parent has isn’t the, “tell me and I can do it,” perhaps they have to learn through doing. I feel we as providers need to make space not only for the children to make mistakes but also space for parents to make mistakes as apart of their learning process.

Just my two cents.