Being deployed or separated from family and friends is common for military families, but it’s not simple. It is a trying time, even for families that have experienced numerous deployments. Even for very young babies, as they too can sense the anxious times associated with deployment. Adding to the challenge is the realization that each deployment comes with unique circumstances and varying degrees of danger and threat to the deploying service member.

How Can You Help?

As an interventionist working with military families, it is important to ask about possible deployments or extended separations for school or training. Knowing about these types of separations can help you understand and support the family. There are, however, a few things to remember when inquiring about possible deployments.

Each deployment is part of a greater mission – The service member may not be able to disclose information about the mission or specific details such as who all is going, where they are going, when they departing for or arriving at their temporary duty location, how long they will be gone, and what they will be doing while at their assigned location. It’s important to be respectful of this and not get too curious.

Family members may not have all of the information either – Know too that the family members staying back may also not be privy to all of the details associated with the deployment. So don’t dwell on the detail of the mission, rather work proactively to support the family during the deployment cycle (preparation, deployment, and reintegration).

Two Helpful Ideas

A resource I’ve found particularly helpful is the Zero to Three publication, Honoring our Babies and Toddlers: Supporting Young Children Affected By a Military Parent’s Deployment, Injury, or Death (PDF, New Window).

Another resource I’ve shared with families is helping them make videos and pictures of the service member enjoying playful interactions with their child and family and then brainstorming about different ways they want to use the videos and pictures. During one video session with a family, the little boy sang his version of happy birthday and we made sure that his mom had a copy of the video on her deployment, where she would be celebrating her birthday.

What resource have you found helpful in supporting military families experiencing deployment?

Naomi Younggren, PhD, is the Comprehensive System of Personnel Development (CSPD) Coordinator for the Department of Defense Army Educational and Developmental Intervention Services (EDIS) Early Intervention Programs, an adjunct early childhood faculty member with Central Texas College – Europe Campus, and an independent Early Childhood Consultant focusing on early intervention and preschool processes and best practices. Naomi’s 30 years of experience in early childhood special education include being a direct provider working with children with disabilities and their families in early intervention and preschool programs, providing technical assistance, authoring early intervention handbooks and training materials, and serving in a program development and leadership capacity. Her primary focus areas include authentic assessment, IFSP and preschool IEP development, natural environments and inclusion, family-centered practices, home visiting, service delivery models, adult learning, and applying the Child Outcomes Summary (COS) for measuring outcomes. Naomi is also the co-author of a new book, The Early Intervention Workbook: Essential Practices for Quality Services.

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You call to schedule the first intervention visit and the child’s father answers the phone. He says, “Hold on, let me get my wife…”

During the assessment, the father comes home for lunch, opens his front door, sees three strangers sitting in his living room floor, takes a quick glance at his girlfriend, then quietly closes the door and goes back to work.

Several months into early intervention, you finally meet the baby’s father. He is eager to learn but doesn’t want to “interrupt” the session so he stands in the hallway and watches. You invite him to join the fun but he says he’s okay watching for a while.

This toddler’s father comes home from work early to make sure he’s at each visit. He always has questions, is eager to show you what the child has learned, and likes to try new things. He struggles with understanding the medical jargon surrounding his child’s diagnosis so uses you as a resource regularly. He sees you as a partner with his family.

Every Father is Different

I’ve met each of these fathers…maybe you have too. Just like any caregiver, every father is different. Unfortunately, though, I think fathers in early intervention are often put into a category, one that has them designated on the side lines of intervention. Most intervention visits are conducted with mothers, or even other female caregivers. Mothers are most likely to be our main contact for the family. This is certainly not true for all families, but being aware of our thoughts about fathers’ roles in early intervention is important because it affects how services and supports are delivered.

Fathers’ Roles in Early Intervention

Father’s roles in EI can vary just as much as they generally do across families and within cultures. Some dads are more hands-on than others; some dads see themselves in more of a supportive role with the mother being the primary caregiver. In many families, this varies from day-to-day. The father’s role can be affected by many things, such as his parenting beliefs, his cultural values, his understanding of the child’s delay or disability, his concerns for the child’s future, or his thoughts on how to support his family. All of these issues and more affect how fathers choose to participate in early intervention and are important considerations for service providers as they collaborate with fathers. We have to be careful not to judge these considerations and understand that our role is to meet families, including fathers, where they are. Fathers are part of that essential parent-professional partnership that makes early intervention work, so don’t forget them!

Don’t Forget Fathers!

If we are truly using family-centered practices, then being sure that we remember to include fathers in intervention activities is so important. Here are a few ideas to help you do that:

Consider fathers’ schedules – When scheduling the intake, assessment, IFSP meetings, and intervention visits, ask about who would like to be present. Try to accommodate the family’s schedule, including the father. If he is typically unable to join the visit because he works during the day, consider offering a session in the evening, videotaping a visit, or doing a visit using Skype or some other teleconferencing. This might work well with parents who are separated by many miles, such as when a military parent is deployed or parents don’t live together but both wish to be involved.

Ask for the father’s insights – Rather than primarily shooting questions to the child’s mother, which often happens, turn your body towards the father to ask if he has anything he’d like to share. Often, he may have a different perspective that can help the rest of the team better understand the family’s priorities or the child’s abilities.

Build intervention around father-child interests – Even if the father isn’t able to join visits, ask about what they do together and try to provide some ideas so that he has some strategies to try. For instance, if he loves wrestling with his toddler, you might talk with the mother about ways they can integrate communication into that game and help her be prepared to coach her husband in doing that. Sometimes those “daddy” games really get children excited and motivated and offer fantastic learning opportunities that shouldn’t be missed!

What other strategies do you use to include fathers in early intervention? If you are a father of a child who has received EI, what ideas do you have for how providers can support dads?

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Since September 11, 2001, more than two million troops have been deployed to a war zone (i.e., Iraq and Afghanistan) (Strengthening our Military Families, 2011). The duration of deployment varies and can last longer than 12 months in some instances. The number of deployments also varies and can tally up for service members during their time in service.

If you work with military families your chances of working with a family that has experienced or is about to experience a deployment is highly likely. Deployment is not as simple as mommy or daddy going away for awhile.

Stages of Deployment

It’s useful to know that deployment is a cycle and not an event. There are essentially four stages of deployment and each stage presents challenges and opportunities for families. By understanding the basics of the deployment cycle, early interventionists are in a better position to recognize deployment challenges and help families.  Following is a brief review of each stage, including common emotional reactions and ways early interventionists can support families.

Pre-deployment – This stage begins with the notice or warning of a service member’s deployment.  At this time families may experience feelings of shock or disbelief, stress about the pending deployment and anticipation of possible loss, as well as denial. As the deployment approaches the service member’s time typically involves increased training and long hours away from home. At this point in the cycle it is helpful for families to get their affairs in order and have discussions about what they expect of each other during the deployment.

EI TIPS – Early interventionists must recognize that this is a trying time for the entire family. Scheduled visits may change and priorities you were previously working on with the family may be placed on the back burner. Prior to the deployment it is helpful to take pictures and make videos of the deploying spouse interacting with the children, as those can be looked at and used during the deployment.

Deployment – At this stage, the service member is gone and the family may experience mixed emotions from grief to relief. They may feel disorientated and overwhelmed with taking on responsibilities of both parents. The stay at home spouse may have sleep difficulties, feel lonely or abandoned and might be anxious about doing all that needs to be done. Depending upon the deployment, the service member may or may not be able to contact the family regularly. Gradually, the family establishes new routines and figures out ways to cope and gain an increases sense of confidence and independence.

EI TIPS – During the deployment early interventionists can support the family by listening, providing emotional support, and recognizing that time during visits may be spend discussing how the family is coping, how the service member is doing, as well as addressing the debate of what to share with the deployed service member (e.g., “Do I share the results of the new evaluation?” “Do I share details about new milestones the child achieved/or has not achieved?”). During the deployment young children may demonstrate a variety of challenging behaviors, such as being more fussy around eating, having less energy or interest in things, having more tantrums, acting out, being sad, angry or more affectionate and clingy. It’s important to remember that infants and toddlers experience the stress of deployment too.

Reunion – The reunion cycle is when the service member returns home. As you might imagine, there is great excitement about the return.  However, there is also apprehension about giving up newly established independence and worry about the affects of the deployment on the service member. This time might also be interrupted by changes in actual return date and the subsequent need to put reunion plans on hold.

EI TIPS – Early interventionists can help families by being supportive and encouraging them to take the time they need. You might also help the family understand their child’s reactions.  Infants and toddlers typically need more time to reconnect; they may even cry when reunited with mommy or daddy.

Reintegration – Not to minimize the challenges associated with the other stages of deployment, but this stage can be even more challenging.  It’s after the reunion honeymoon and includes reconnecting and reestablishing roles and responsibilities and understanding the effects of the deployment. During the service members time away the family made changes and these changes may be new and different for the returning service member. Service members have to learn how their spouse managed the children and the home in their absence and the spouse has to acknowledge and respect the conditions the service member endured.

EI TIPS – Early interventionists must recognize and be respectful of the roller coaster of emotions the family may be experiencing. During reintegration early intervention visits might be canceled or rescheduled several times.  It is important to ensure the family takes the time they need to get to know one another again.

Negotiating the challenges of deployment is not easy.

A family may face a roller coaster of emotions. As an interventionist, you can help military families positively cope with the deployment experience by first understanding the unique stages of the deployment cycle.

What challenges have you faced with supporting military families before, during, or after deployment? What strategies or resources have you found helpful?

Reference:

Strengthening our military families: Meeting America’s commitment. (January 2011). www.whitehouse.gov.  Accessed from http://www.defense.gov/home/features/2011/0111_initiative/strengthening_our_military_january_2011.pdf (PDF, New Window)

Naomi Younggren, PhD, is the Comprehensive System of Personnel Development (CSPD) Coordinator for the Department of Defense Army Educational and Developmental Intervention Services (EDIS) Early Intervention Programs, an adjunct early childhood faculty member with Central Texas College – Europe Campus, and an independent Early Childhood Consultant focusing on early intervention and preschool processes and best practices. Naomi’s 30 years of experience in early childhood special education include being a direct provider working with children with disabilities and their families in early intervention and preschool programs, providing technical assistance, authoring early intervention handbooks and training materials, and serving in a program development and leadership capacity. Her primary focus areas include authentic assessment, IFSP and preschool IEP development, natural environments and inclusion, family-centered practices, home visiting, service delivery models, adult learning, and applying the Child Outcomes Summary (COS) for measuring outcomes.

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