{"id":1203,"date":"2013-08-22T13:27:15","date_gmt":"2013-08-22T17:27:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/?p=1203"},"modified":"2020-06-25T02:08:55","modified_gmt":"2020-06-25T02:08:55","slug":"its-not-you-its-me-navigating-the-parentprovider-breakup-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2013\/08\/22\/its-not-you-its-me-navigating-the-parentprovider-breakup-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cIt\u2019s Not You, It\u2019s Me\u201d \u2013 Navigating The Parent\/Provider Breakup"},"content":{"rendered":"

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do\"Two<\/b><\/h2>\n

So, I\u2019m at the office and I can\u2019t help but overhear a Service Coordinator on the phone with an early intervention provider making the call \u2013 you know, the break up call. She tried everything to soften the news –\u00a0scheduling conflict, goodness of fit, it\u2019s not you, the family thinks you\u2019re great\u2026When she got off of the phone, this poor Service Coordinator looked drained, \u201cI hate having to make those calls!\u201d\u00a0 In a perfect world, there would be no need for these calls, right?\u00a0 Parents and early interventionists would work it out together.\u00a0 The day to day reality for many folks, though, is that that for a variety of reasons, parents often don\u2019t feel comfortable and enlist the help of their Service Coordinator.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t Take It Personally<\/b><\/h2>\n

I remembered back to the beginning of my practice, that \u201choneymoon period\u201d when I didn\u2019t even know what I didn\u2019t know yet!\u00a0 Maybe that\u2019s why I was so devastated the first time I got the call from a Service Coordinator that a parent of mine wanted to change providers\u2026I didn\u2019t handle the breakup well. Have you ever been in that position?\u00a0 It\u2019s hard not to take it personally, right?\u00a0 Thankfully, I had a Supervisor and a peer group of professionals who could offer support and strategies based on their experiences.<\/p>\n

Families Initiating a Break Up is a Good Thing – Wait – What??<\/b><\/h2>\n

Take a bow \u2013 when a family requests a change in their team makeup it\u2019s because we have been doing our job!!\u00a0 Most of us don\u2019t think all that much about procedural safeguards on a day to day basis; we hand out the booklets or pamphlets that our state\u2019s system has created and make sure to document that the family has received information about their rights in early intervention.\u00a0 We revisit and remind families of these rights at different points in the process, checking off again that the information was given, but what do these rights look like in practice?<\/p>\n

Here’s an Example: <\/strong>During her monthly contact calls, Leslie noticed Eva\u2019s mom sharing concerns about one member of her daughter\u2019s early intervention team.\u00a0 Leslie encouraged Eva\u2019s mom to ask questions during her home visits, and share feedback and ideas from the home visits of another team member whose approach looked and felt a bit different.\u00a0 A suggestion was also made to invite both providers to one or two joint home visits in order to promote partnership and collaboration.\u00a0 When those efforts still didn\u2019t improve the situation, Leslie reminded Eva\u2019s mom about her right to request a change and encouraged her to have that conversation with the provider directly.\u00a0 After the switch was made, the Service Coordinator could have left it here, but Leslie then made it a point to provide Eva\u2019s mom with feedback\u2026\u201dI know that might have been tough for you, but wow, you did such a great job advocating for your rights and what you felt was best for your family \u2013 Eva is lucky to have you in her corner!\u201d<\/p>\n

Aha Moments and Burn and Learns!<\/b><\/h2>\n

So here I am- fast forward 20 plus years later from that first traumatic break up in early intervention.\u00a0 Time, training, reflective supervision and all of the \u201caha moments\u201d and \u201cburn-n-learns\u201d have shaped my practice along the way.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m more aware of the critical components that define my partnerships with families and am grateful to those who shared their strategies with me along the way.\u00a0 Here a few I thought I\u2019d share with you\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cBurn and Learn\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 I needed to invest more time at the beginning of a relationship with a family before jumping into help giver mode.\u00a0 While it is totally understandable to want to feel useful and productive, many situations that result in Service Coordinators needing to intervene stem from mismatched communication. Take the time when you first meet a family to establish shared expectations!<\/p>\n

\u201cAha Moment\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 Families won\u2019t provide me with feedback if I don\u2019t build that into our time together.\u00a0 Sometimes the best thing to happen during a home visit is for a strategy or suggestion you make to be unsuccessful! Together you can say, “well, that didn\u2019t work” and begin to wonder why, what could be done differently or what else could be tried.\u00a0 This also helps families feel comfortable sharing not only what worked but what didn\u2019t work as well during the week in between visits!<\/p>\n

As a Service Coordinator<\/em>, how have you handled it when a parent expresses concerns about another team member?\u00a0 What has worked well for you in the past?\u00a0 Do you have any \u201caha moments\u201d or \u201cburn and learns\u201d you could share to help others?<\/strong><\/p>\n

As an Early Intervention Provider<\/em>, what experiences have you had with either a family requesting a change or getting a break up call from a Service Coordinator? Do you have any \u201caha moments\u201d or \u201cburn and learns\u201d you could share to help others?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Resources to Add to Your Bag of Tricks:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Assuring the Families Role on the Early Intervention Team: Explaining Rights and Safeguards<\/a> (PDF, New Window) (NECTAC)<\/p>\n

Illinois Resource: State of Illinois Infant\/Toddler & Family Rights under IDEA for the Early Intervention System: “The Sooner We Start The Farther They’ll Go”<\/a><\/p>\n

Virginia Resource: Notice of Child and Family Rights and Safeguards Including Facts about Family Cost Share<\/a> (PDF, New Window)<\/p>\n

\n

Amy Cocorikis has been lucky enough to spend her career learning from infants and toddlers with special needs and the families who love them. She has also been fortunate to have worked with and learned from the many talented providers of all disciplines who shared their time and gifts with their team members. Her dedication to the teaming process, desire to grow and keep current in the field, and commitment to learning from and teaching others through professional development and training continues to fuel her passion for early intervention. Amy can be reached at c.a.r.e.consulting@hotmail.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do So, I\u2019m at the office and I can\u2019t help but overhear a Service Coordinator on the phone with an early intervention provider making the call \u2013 you know, the break up call. She tried everything to soften the news –\u00a0scheduling conflict, goodness of fit, it\u2019s not you, the family […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":38,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[139,14,16,17],"tags":[31,37,48,50,58,59,68,86,87,95,104,112,115,125],"class_list":["post-1203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all","category-practical-strategies-for-intervention","category-service-coordination","category-teamwork-2","tag-challenges","tag-collaboration","tag-early-childhood","tag-early-intervention","tag-families","tag-family-centered-practices","tag-infants","tag-parent-professional-partnership","tag-parents","tag-relationships","tag-service-coordination-2","tag-strategies","tag-teamwork","tag-toddlers","clearfix"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cIt\u2019s Not You, It\u2019s Me\u201d \u2013 Navigating The 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