{"id":2069,"date":"2014-06-24T11:31:36","date_gmt":"2014-06-24T11:31:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/?p=2069"},"modified":"2020-11-05T19:55:06","modified_gmt":"2020-11-05T19:55:06","slug":"she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2014\/06\/24\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\/","title":{"rendered":"She Answers the Door in Nothing but a Nightie…What Do You Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"

After knocking three times, you hear someone inside the apartment.\u00a0You wait a bit, trying to decide whether to knock again. Jessa’s mother hollers that’s she’s\""Censored"\" coming, then a few seconds later she opens the door. She’s tells you to come on in but you hesitate.<\/p>\n

Jessa’s mother is wearing a see-through nightie and nothing else.<\/p>\n

What do you do?<\/h2>\n

You really have two choices – ignore or address the situation. You can ignore it, realizing that it will probably be a pretty uncomfortable visit, especially if she doesn’t get dressed on her own. Or you can address it by saying something to her…but what?<\/p>\n

Option #1 – Ignore It<\/strong><\/p>\n

Choosing to ignore the mother’s inappropriate clothing might be your choice if you feel too uncomfortable to say something. You might reason that you are in the family’s home and who are you to judge how the mother dresses? We’re often well-trained not to judge families’ ways of life, especially when they differ from our own. If you chose to ignore the situation, it’s important to realize that you could be opening the door for other inappropriate behavior. This could be dangerous if the parent is flirting with you (which happens) and this “show” is purposeful. Ignoring it could put you in an awkward situation today, and a worse one tomorrow if you don’t establish a professional boundary<\/a>. Consider this – if you feel so uncomfortable that you choose to ignore it, should you be going into the home at all?<\/p>\n

Option #2 – Address It<\/strong><\/p>\n

What would you say? There are several ways you might verbally manage the situation. You could be straight-forward and ask the parent to get dressed. You could tell Jessa’s mother that you aren’t comfortable coming into the home with her in her night clothes. You could casually say “I’ll wait here until you get dressed.” and stay outside. Or, you could offer to reschedule, saying something like “It looks like I woke you up. Is this still a good time?”<\/p>\n

It can get even more tricky\u00a0when the parent isn’t uncomfortable with the situation but you are. You might say to Jessa’s mother that you’ll wait til she gets dressed, and she could reply that it’s no problem, you can come on in. Managing this situation all depends on where YOU draw the boundary, and that depends on your gut instinct and comfort level.<\/p>\n

A Rule of Thumb<\/h2>\n

I think it’s a good rule of thumb to never go into a home where an adult is not appropriately dressed. For some people, this might mean all clothes on, and for others, maybe just no private parts showing. You never want to put yourself in a compromising position, whatever your comfort level. The hard part is seeing the future because it’s not always clear what ramifications allowing a situation like this to occur will have. Try to think ahead and always keep in mind the importance of healthy professional boundaries. We do respect families’ preferences, and you are a guest in their home, but you do not have to be subjected to inappropriate behavior.<\/p>\n

The ability to adapt to different situations and environments is a hallmark of a good early interventionist but there are limits. Most adults won’t answer the door in their underwear, but if you find yourself in this situation, know that you have the right to step back and\u00a0speak up. Being clothed (or not) sends a message, whether it is that the parent is very (too) comfortable with you, doesn’t care, or doesn’t want you in the home. I think a situation like this needs to be addressed. What do you think?<\/p>\n

Have you been in this situation before? What did you do? What would you do if you met Jessa’s mom at the door?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After knocking three times, you hear someone inside the apartment.\u00a0You wait a bit, trying to decide whether to knock again. Jessa’s mother hollers that’s she’s coming, then a few seconds later she opens the door. She’s tells you to come on in but you hesitate. Jessa’s mother is wearing a see-through nightie and nothing else. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[139,12,14,19],"tags":[31,48,50,58,62,79,86,87,104,112],"class_list":["post-2069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-all","category-intervention-visits","category-practical-strategies-for-intervention","category-what-would-you-do","tag-challenges","tag-early-childhood","tag-early-intervention","tag-families","tag-home-visits","tag-natural-environment","tag-parent-professional-partnership","tag-parents","tag-service-coordination-2","tag-strategies","clearfix"],"yoast_head":"\nShe Answers the Door in Nothing but a Nightie...What Do You Do? - Early Intervention Strategies for Success<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2014\/06\/24\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Dana Childress, PhD\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Dana Childress, PhD\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/912e5da6aba7fba3a723c90a678d1146\"},\"headline\":\"She Answers the Door in Nothing but a Nightie…What Do You Do?\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-06-24T11:31:36+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-11-05T19:55:06+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":646,\"commentCount\":6,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/shutterstock_195488351-300x300.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"challenges\",\"early childhood\",\"early intervention\",\"families\",\"home visits\",\"natural environment\",\"parent-professional partnership\",\"parents\",\"service coordination\",\"strategies\"],\"articleSection\":[\"All\",\"Intervention Visits\",\"Practical Strategies\",\"What Would You Do?\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.veipd.org\\\/earlyintervention\\\/2014\\\/06\\\/24\\\/she-answers-the-door-in-nothing-but-a-nightie-what-do-you-do\\\/\",\"name\":\"She Answers the Door in Nothing but a Nightie...What Do You Do? 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