{"id":3411,"date":"2018-09-06T11:53:19","date_gmt":"2018-09-06T11:53:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/?p=3411"},"modified":"2021-10-15T21:01:07","modified_gmt":"2021-10-15T21:01:07","slug":"the-parent-seems-uncomfortablewhat-do-you-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2018\/09\/06\/the-parent-seems-uncomfortablewhat-do-you-do\/","title":{"rendered":"The Parent Seems Uncomfortable\u2026What Do You Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Maybe you\u2019ve felt this before\u2026you are on a visit and it\u2019s the parent\u2019s turn to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2018\/07\/24\/staying-in-your-lane\/\">practice<\/a> using an <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-2520 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/shutterstock_259687550-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Goethe quote: Everythign is hard before it is easy.\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/shutterstock_259687550-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/shutterstock_259687550-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/shutterstock_259687550.jpg 1000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>intervention strategy. Perhaps you just modeled it, or you and the parent came up with an idea and want to give it a try. When you ask the parent if she\u2019d like to try it, she averts her gaze and answers \u201cI guess so,\u201d with an uncomfortable look on her face. Perhaps when the parent tries to engage her child, you sense her discomfort then too. In turn, you feel uncomfortable and wonder\u2026what do I do?<\/p>\n<p>Early intervention is all about building a parent\u2019s capacity to facilitate her child\u2019s development. In the best case scenario, the parent is eager to learn, confident with engaging her child, and interested in trying new things. In the worst case scenario, the parent doesn\u2019t even want you in the home. In reality, most parents are somewhere in between, on a looooong continuum of parent-child engagement, comfort level, interest and readiness.<\/p>\n<h2>5 Strategies for Responding to Discomfort<\/h2>\n<p>As an early interventionist, you work hard to build rapport and trust and get to know the family in a way that lays the foundation for how you\u2019ll work together. Again, that\u2019s easier sometimes than others. A key aspect of getting to know families really involves being <a href=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2017\/07\/27\/dec-recommended-practices-family-part-1\/\">responsive<\/a> \u2013 responsive to their needs, interests, priorities, and feelings. Responsivity is a critical skill to use in the situation described above.<\/p>\n<p>Here are 5 responsive strategies to help you manage discomfort:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Acknowledge what you sense<\/strong> \u2013 Ask the parent how she feels as soon as you sense discomfort. Be specific: \u201cI\u2019m wondering if you\u2019re feeling a little uncomfortable?\u201d or \u201cHow do you feel about using that strategy?\u201d You could be wrong about what you sense, but you won\u2019t know until you ask. Let her know that how she feels is okay and that she can decide whether or not to proceed \u2013 give her the choice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ask her how that felt<\/strong> \u2013 After trying the strategy, check in again. Be specific: \u201cHow comfortable are you with that strategy? How did that feel? What did you think about that?\u201d Be responsive to her answer and make it safe for her to be honest. Don\u2019t insist on using a strategy just because you think it\u2019s a good one. If a parent feels uncomfortable, she\u2019s less likely to use that strategy when you aren\u2019t there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ask if she would like to do something differently<\/strong> \u2013 Invite the parent\u2019s input and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2016\/04\/05\/the-value-of-collaborative-problem-solving\/\">problem-solve together<\/a>. Maybe she has an idea of how to tweak the strategy or situation to make it easier or more comfortable. Flexibility is a hallmark of good early intervention.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Try to build on what she and her child already do<\/strong> \u2013 Before even introducing a new strategy, find out what they already do or have already tried. Observe the parent and child first doing what they naturally do. Model the strategy first, if that helps the parent. Brainstorm how the strategy might be used during the activity, then coach the parent in how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.veipd.org\/earlyintervention\/2015\/02\/10\/adult-learning-principle-4-practicing-intervention-strategies-in-real-time\/\">use it during a familiar interaction<\/a>. Seize the opportunities as they happen and be sure to provide feedback when the parent uses the strategy successfully. Remember your role as a facilitator of the parent\u2019s learning too.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Step back, reassess, and consider options<\/strong> \u2013 Sometimes you and the parent have to try a strategy to figure out it\u2019s not the right one. Use the conversation to help you reassess whether or not the strategy is appropriate for the child, parent, and situation. If it is and the parent is okay, then proceed. If not, step back and reassess. There is always another route to the outcome so be open to it.<\/p>\n<h4>How Much Discomfort is Okay?<\/h4>\n<p>Now, this raises the question of how much discomfort is acceptable? To me, the answer lies in your conversations with families. EI can push parents out of their comfort zone as they learn to use new strategies with their children. It can be uncomfortable to try something new with an unpredictable toddler in front of someone who is perceived as having expertise. The trick here is to have the courage to acknowledge the discomfort and talk about it so you and the parent can figure out what to do next. Options might include tweaking the strategy, modeling it again for the parent, trying it again a few times, letting the parent try it between visits on her own, or simply ditching the strategy all together\u2026and all of these options are okay. Being responsive to what the parent is feeling will help you know what to do next.<\/p>\n<p><strong>W<\/strong><strong>hat do you do when a parent seems uncomfortable?\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Share your experiences and strategies in the comments below!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Maybe you\u2019ve felt this before\u2026you are on a visit and it\u2019s the parent\u2019s turn to practice using an intervention strategy. Perhaps you just modeled it, or you and the parent came up with an idea and want to give it a try. When you ask the parent if she\u2019d like to try it, she averts [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[3,139,7,10,12,14,19],"tags":[22,31,35,37,48,50,54,58,62,67,80,86,87,112],"class_list":["post-3411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adult-learning-2","category-all","category-coaching-practices","category-engaging-collaborating-with-families","category-intervention-visits","category-practical-strategies-for-intervention","category-what-would-you-do","tag-adult-learning","tag-challenges","tag-coaching","tag-collaboration","tag-early-childhood","tag-early-intervention","tag-embedding","tag-families","tag-home-visits","tag-implementation","tag-natural-learning-opportunities","tag-parent-professional-partnership","tag-parents","tag-strategies","clearfix"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What to do When Parents Seem Uncomfortable<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What do you do when parents seem uncomfortable during an EI visit? 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