We are all in this together. Early interventionists are exploring and learning new telehealth options. For many, this may mean learning new technology platforms, navigating limited wifi access, and simultaneously focusing on providing exceptional service delivery through telehealth. Teleflections©, a new resource, provide reflections from early interventionists who share their own experiences including their successes and challenges. Each week new videos are posted.

There are a variety of ways to access the Teleflections© series. Follow us on:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Twitter
• YouTube (Teleflections© Playlist)

During this time of uncertainty, it helps to normalize our experiences and laugh (maybe sometimes cry) about them together. You can also check out the COVID-19 and EI Tele-Intervention Updates page for the latest resources.

Let’s take a look at some of the recent Teleflections©.

In Teleflections© 2, Julie Vaughn (SLP) was honestly states, “I won’t lie. It’s not my thing. It’s just not my thing, but I am making the best of it. I have learned a lot this week about computers and technology.” Coming out soon, Julie shares a new video with her successful update on how she has grown over the past two weeks. This is something new and we have to give ourselves time and patience as we all learn together.

In Teleflections© 4, Missy Rose (PT) shares her experiences as a physical therapist who relies on her hands to gain information about a child. Make sure you do not miss her fancy doll she uses to support families learning different positioning techniques. Many of us are nervous about not being in the home, but we are all learning we can still coach families to support their child’s development in naturally occurring routines and activities. We have even heard so many successes about coaching families and seeing a larger variety of routines as we navigate this together.

In Teleflections© 5, Stacie Jackson (LSM and SC) shares her experience waking up at 3:45 the morning of her first intake. It is safe to say many of us have experienced restlessness or disrupted sleep. After all, we’re all experiencing similar responses together.

The latest Teleflections© 6, Dana Carroll (OT) shares her experience from a mother who was really nervous at first. Dana describes the mother as being “over the moon” by the end of the session. Many families may be worried about how they will continue to support their child’s development during this time and it is a great way to remind them that we are all in this together.

Check out Teleflection©s by following our social media. We would love to hear about your experiences.

What has been your biggest success (or challenge)?

Share your experiences in the chat below!

The post Introducing Teleflections©: We Are All in This Together appeared first on Early Intervention Strategies for Success.

Let’s get right to the point. You are not trying to engage an infant or toddler on video for 45-60 minutes during your virtual visit. Re-read that last sentence and let it sink in. Take a deep breath in and breathe out any expectation you may have had about playing with the baby you see on video. When we step back and let our anxiety about tele-intervention settle, it’s easier to realize that there is very little chance of a 2-year old interacting with you on video for more than a moment or two – and that’s okay. You can still do early intervention without that interaction when you focus on engaging the parent (or other caregiver) who will then engage the child. If you think about coaching and the Mission of EI, that’s where your focus should be anyway. You’ve probably already been doing this and if not, you can do it now.  

Okay, you might be asking yourself: If I’m not interacting with the child, what do I do instead?

Let’s answer that question.

What Do You Do?

Now, more than ever, early interventionists are using their coaching skills to engage parents during virtual visits conducted using video conferencing technologies. Interventionists have been thrust into the world of tele-intervention (you might know it as telepractice or telehealth) with often little preparation or experience. The whole world has shifted and it feels like EI practice has shifted along with it (and they have).

Here’s what hasn’t changed, though: You are still a coach to the parent/caregiver. Your primary mission is to support caregivers so they learn ways to interact with their children during everyday routines and activities to encourage development. Whether you are sitting in their home or yours, you are still a coach. You did not coach the child before tele-intervention; you coached the parent. You probably did spend time playing with and engaging the child, practicing stretches, prompting for sounds, and challenging the child’s problem-solving or social skills. You probably modeled the use of strategies in these activities for the parent. Now, you have to figure out how to let go of your need to directly interact with the child and embrace the golden opportunity you have to support the parent’s learning.

Here are 10 strategies for focusing on parent/caregiver learning during tele-intervention. You can do this!

10 Strategies for Engaging Parents during Tele-Intervention

Before the Visit:

1. Prepare with the parent – Touch base by phone before the virtual visit to discuss technology needs and answer questions. Plan for how to connect, what device the parent will use, and how it will be positioned so the parent can see you and you can observe the parent-child interaction. Plan for how the parent will access the link you will send to the virtual meeting platform. Consider different types of devices and how access might look different (a quick google search for instructions can be helpful if needed).

2. Prepare yourself – Before the virtual visit, collect your thoughts. Remember that you don’t need toys because you are not trying to engage the child. You may need a prop, such as a doll or teddy bear to model movements for the parent, but you can put your bubbles away.

3. Preparing for what to do – Chat with the parent about ideas for what to do during the visit. Be prepared to follow the parent’s lead and let her know she can take you with her in whatever she and her child do during the visit. You can also plan for activities, like if you are going to work together on the child’s feeding or encourage play skills with siblings who are also home. Just like any visit, though, preparing can go right out the window if another opportunity arises or the family needs the visit to go in a different direction. Prepare when you can, but go with the flow when you need to.

During the Visit:

4. Take time to check in – Just like any other visit, touch base on how the family is doing and check in on child progress. This check in time may take longer now and that’s okay. Remember that everyone is adjusting to the new normal so approach this relationship-building time with ease.

5. Use your voice to join in (instead of your body) – Join the activity you planned or search for opportunities based on what you see. Observe that feeding session, watch the siblings play, and use your coaching skills to share your observations, ask reflective questions, and provide verbal guidance on how to use intervention strategies. You have to use your voice to join in so be gentle with your suggestions and always ask the caregiver what she thinks, how it feels, etc.

6. Be descriptive and specific – When you provide guidance, share observations, or give feedback, be specific and describe what you see and what you suggest. Following verbal directions might be harder to process for the parent who is used to watching you, so take it slow and check in frequently.

7. Be flexible – If the visit is a little shorten than usual, that’s okay. Be sure to document why. If what you planned with the parent falls flat, try something else. If you end up discussing development more than observing it, especially on your first visit, that’s okay. Use the “show me…” prompt to move from discussion to observation and support; it’s a great tool on an in-person visit and it’s your best tool now.

8. Keep your focus on the parent, who facilitates learning for the child – This is key. This is also best practice in EI whether you are face-to-face or on video. What you can help the parent practice during the visit with the child is more likely to continue between visits. Use your coaching skills to keep the focus on parent learning, which extends learning to the child.

9. Write down the joint plan – Plan with the parent as you always do, but create a written version of the joint plan at the end or after the visit. Email or text the plan to the parent as a reminder and follow-up on that plan at the start of your next visit.

During and Between Visits:

This last strategy might be the most valuable right now:

10. Cultivate patience for the parent and yourself – Providing intervention this way might feel wobbly nowand that’s okay. Both you and the parent are in the midst of significant change, and not just for the EI visit. Being patient with the family will help them feel comfortable with this new way of interacting with you. Being patient with yourself means giving yourself permission to feel nervous and stumble, laugh about it, learn, pat yourself on the back, and try again next week.

Consider this: Your relationship to early intervention and with the parent has changed because of the pandemic and tele-intervention, but maybe that change is for the better. This way of supporting parents (and children) might make you a better coach. Give it time, approach intervention with openness, and take a deep breath. We will all be okay.

What strategies are you using before or using your tele-intervention visits to engage parents?

What’s working well? What’s challenging you?

Share your tips and experiences in the chat below and let’s support each other. 🙂

For information, videos, webinars, and online training related to tele-intervention, visit these sites:

COVID-19 and EI Tele-Intervention Updates – VA EI Professional Development Center

Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) – ECTA Center

For technology tips and links to video reflections about tele-intervention, check out these posts:

7 Technology Tips for Tele-Intervention

Introducing Teleflections©: We’re All In This Together

The post 10 Strategies for Engaging Parents (not Children?) during Tele-Intervention appeared first on Early Intervention Strategies for Success.

We all have times when we leave visits feeling like it went great because we were able to successfully engage the caregiver. Other times, we leave visits feeling defeated and wondering what we could have done differently or if the caregiver may not be completely on board with early intervention yet. Honestly, there are a multitude of reasons we make this assumption and it may be far from the truth. Maybe we need to listen better, build a stronger rapport, or simply do a better job providing information by being more intentional and reflective with the caregiver about his or her beliefs and interactions with the child. Caregivers are equipped with their own knowledge and expectations of the world (and early intervention) and we have to respect that as we provide support. With that said, we also want to help caregivers learn so that they can use intervention strategies successfully with their children. This can be a careful dance.

Creating Cognitive Dissonance

This is where we bring in our secret weapon as we help caregivers reflect on (and possibly change) how they promote their child’s development. One strategy we can use to facilitate this reflection is called creating cognitive dissonance.

Learn more about cognitive dissonance. The article states:

“According to cognitive dissonance theory, there is a tendency for individuals to seek consistency among their cognitions (i.e., beliefs, opinions). When there is an inconsistency between attitudes or behaviors (dissonance), something must change to eliminate the dissonance. In the case of a discrepancy between attitudes and behavior, it is most likely that the attitude will change to accommodate the behavior.”

In other words, cognitive dissonance creates a conflict in your brain where you engage in a behavior that does not reflect your actual beliefs. When people are in a state of cognitive dissonance, there is an urge to resolve the conflict. This happens quite frequently when people are faced with making decisions.

How You Can Create Cognitive Dissonance to Help Caregivers Learn

Let’s visit Natasha to see how she implements this strategy in practice. 

Natasha provides services to Christine (mother) and Sebastian (father) and their two-year-old, Isaiah. Isaiah has very few words. He tends to get frustrated frequently which really upsets his parents. Isaiah’s parents have both have expressed the stress it places on them as a family. Natasha has observed Isaiah becoming emotionally overwhelmed when he wants to communicate a message to his parents, but they do not understand him. 

Natasha has approached Christine and Sebastian about using sign language. When she brought it up initially, they were adamant against sign language because they want him talking. Natasha wanted to discuss using sign language again, but decided to be more intentional and reflective with Christine and Sebastian. Here is how the conversation went:

Natasha: How are Isaiah’s tantrums today?

Christine: It has been really bad. I know he is trying to tell me something, but it takes me so long to figure out what he wants. By the time I do, he has already spiraled out of control. 

Sebastian: Today, he wanted more cereal and we thought he wanted a drink. 

Natasha: What do you think is causing these outbursts?

Christine: It is definitely when we do not understand. When I can figure it out right away, he is fine. 

Sebastian: It is like he is frustrated when he cannot talk.

Natasha: Tell me if I understand you correctly. He is getting frustrated when you do not understand him.

Christine and Sebastian (simultaneously): Yes!

Natasha: I wonder what we can do to help eliminate some of that frustration while he is building his vocabulary.

Sebastian: I am not sure anymore.

Natasha: I know previously, we talked about using some signs and you were not sure if it would help. Sign language can be a bridge to using words. It is used as a strategy to help reduce frustration so you can understand what Isaiah wants and model the appropriate words. I want to be clear, though, that sign language is always used with words. Once Isaiah is confident using his words, he will stop using the signs because he will replace them with words. It sounds like you really want to reduce his frustration (parent belief?). What would you think about trying a couple signs and seeing how it goes (behavior)?

Christine (pausing in thought): …..I do want to help Isaiah learn to talk. 

Sebastian: I guess we were worried he would never talk and only sign. 

Christine: I see what you are saying. I think we can try sign language if it will help him.

Natasha: It is something to try. If it does not help, we can try something else.

I am sure many of you have encountered a situation like this. Natasha created cognitive dissonance in her discussion with Christine and Sebastian by having them reflect on their beliefs versus behavior. When we create cognitive dissonance, caregivers must reflect on their beliefs and decide whether or not they will change their behavior. 

What are some other situations where creating cognitive dissonance may be helpful?

Add your ideas in the comments below!

The post Creating Cognitive Dissonance as a Learning Strategy appeared first on Early Intervention Strategies for Success.

Drew Dudley believes every person has changed someone’s life not by doing something extraordinary but rather through the everyday simple actions of being a leader. These actions can be so small a person may not even recall it in his or her memory. Mr. Dudley presents this inspiring Ted Talk on everyday leadership.

Take 6 minutes to hear his story:

“We have made leadership something bigger than us.”

Drew Dudley is right. If we relate leadership to only changing the world, maybe we need to redefine it. Drew Dudley worries “sometimes we spend so much time celebrating amazing things that hardly anybody can do, that we’ve convinced ourselves those are the only things worth celebrating.” The truth is there are moments that occur every day that define you as a true leader. Awareness and intention to understand the power of our own light can help us recognize what Mr. Dudley calls “lollipop moments.” Those moments are what makes us leaders.

“A lollipop moment is a moment someone said something and did something that made your life fundamentally better.”

Take a moment to pause and reflect on this statement. Who has impacted your life by simply saying or doing something? How have you impacted others?

It’s possible we do not always realize the power of our own words and actions in everyday moments. One day, I remember I was leaving the soccer field. A mother approached me and asked if I remembered her. She looked very familiar and then I recalled working with the family in early intervention. This mother gave me an update on her child and thanked me for supporting them. She told me she often thinks of the impact I made on them by providing the foundation for her, her husband and grandparents to help her son continue to grow in his journey. Wow! I was speechless. I did not realize the power of my influence on this family.

These are moments we have all experienced and never realized it……..a lollipop moment. This mother just found an opportunity to thank me for it.

Drew Dudley challenges us to “redefine leadership about lollipop moments. How many we create? How many we acknowledge? How many of them we pay forward? How many we say thank you for?” I am accepting this challenge and will remain aware of the opportunities to create lollipop moments with families. I will acknowledge the power I hold as a leader. I will model characteristics of a great leader daily during my visits and when working with my team members. I will thank others when they say or do something that impacts change in my life.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. -Marianne Williamson

Please feel free to share your own lollipop moment when someone has impacted your life or thanked you for impacting their life.

What were your first thoughts after watching this video?

The post Everyday Leadership: Redefining Leadership in Lollipop Moments appeared first on Early Intervention Strategies for Success.

In our previous discussion about the levels of awareness for parents of young children with disabilities, we explored the ostrich phase – a time when a parent has a lack of awareness about disabilities and may not recognize the characteristics of a disability displayed by their child.

Today, we are going to explore and discuss a parent’s second level of awareness – Special Designation. As a parent of a child with disabilities, I like to think of Special Designation as the “Aha Phase.” In this second stage of awareness, parents have, through some transformational experience, recognized that their child indeed has a disability and will require additional assistance from a service provider to maximize his or her personal potential. This transformational experience may come in the form of a quiet realization. Or, a question is asked by a teacher, trusted friend, or family member, such as, “Johnny isn’t talking yet. What do you think about that?”

During this phase, the parent may begin seeking guidance from service providers. “Sally is not walking yet and she is almost two. Her sister started walking before she was one. I’m worried. What should I do?” The parent’s rationale during Special Designation is if there is a “problem” with my child’s development, then surely there are professionals who can fix this problem. At this time in the parent’s journey, the parent is looking for support from a more knowledgeable other in the area of disabilities.

That more knowledgeable other is you.

My Experience in Special Designation

Let me share with you my own experience in Special Designation as a new parent of a child with disabilities.

In 2008, I found myself home alone with my 17-month son. My husband was deployed to Iraq and I busied myself caring for our son in his absence. Early during the deployment, I had experienced what would be my third and final miscarriage. After the miscarriage, I chose to stay home with my baby and try to process the sorrow I was feeling. Therefore, I didn’t engage with friends and neighbors for playdates and outings. My son and I had always been extremely social. Since he was four weeks old, we attended Parent and Me classes, enjoyed daily outings with friends, and went on weekend excursions with Dad. Language was all around us. People were always talking. I was always talking. I was always narrating for him. So, in my mind, he was talking, too. We had an intuitive language, Therefore, without realizing it, I compensated for the words my son never spoke.

However, with the absence of people and talking around us, I began to notice something that I had not fully acknowledged before. My son wasn’t talking. If I wasn’t talking, there was complete silence. There was absolutely no conversation in the house. None at all. I talked, and my baby listened, at least I thought he was listening. But I knew for certain, he wasn’t making any attempts to speak to me. This was my single greatest “Aha” moment as a parent of child with disabilities and the catalyst for action.

Unsure of what to do or how I felt about my son’s lack of language, I made an appointment with my son’s pediatrician. When I took him to the doctor, I said, “My son’s not speaking. He has a couple of words that he says, like ‘hi,’ ‘bye,’ and ‘touchdown,’ but he’s not making any attempts to communicate with me.” The pediatrician examined my son—healthy eyes, ears, and heart. The pediatrician then said to me, “Children develop at different rates. Just keep doing what you’re doing, mom—you’re doing a great job.” Then he gave us a sticker.

I was devastated. Do you know how much strength it took for me to make that appointment, ask for help, and say out loud to someone that I think there is something going on with my child that I don’t know how to fix?

A lot.

Fortunately, I had the skill set and agency to advocate for my son and his needs immediately and I didn’t stop until I found service providers who could best support my child and his needs.

What You Can Do

However, parents come to service providers from different pathways. It is essential as service providers take the time to listen to parents so that every parent has the opportunity to share the details of their concerns. And while a disability cannot be “fixed”, you can assure parents that you are here to walk with them through this journey and together you, with the family’s input, will figure out a way forward.

Special Designation is a step forward as the parent is actively looking for help. Consequently, this phase requires patience and a listening ear from service providers as the parent processes the realization that their most precious child has a disability. Special Designation is a turning point that parents reach before the family begins to establish their “new normal” as a family of a child with disabilities.

As an early interventionist, you are in an opportune position to work with parents during the Special Designation phase as you empower and equip parents with useful skills and strategies that will enable them to best assist the continued development of their young child with disabilities.

Have you ever encountered a parent who had the expectation for you to “fix” their child?

Given the new knowledge you have about Special Designation, how would you respond to that parent now?

Be sure to read the other posts in this series:

Emerging Parenthood: Trust the Process – Don’t Rush the Process

Levels of Awareness: The Ostrich Phase

Normalization – The Hope Phase

Self-Actualization: Hello, I am the Parent of a Child with Disabilities

Check out El’s archived webinar too: Mama Bear: Using Parent Narratives and Experience to Improve Engagement Practices

El is an educator, entrepreneur, author, and PhD student specializing in Early Childhood Education/Early Childhood Special Education at George Mason University. Prior to leaving the traditional classroom, El served as an Elementary and Early Childhood Educator in the United States, Japan, and South Korea. She is the founder of KinderJam, an Early Childhood Education care, enrichment, and training agency. Above all, El is the proud mother of an 11-year-old son on the autism spectrum, affectionately known as SuperDuperKid (SDK). El can be reached at elbrown@kinderjam.com

The post Special Designation: A Parent’s Aha Moment appeared first on Early Intervention Strategies for Success.

As an early interventionist, you are in a help giving profession and you want to ensure that you are offering families help that is relevant to the family’s needs. You can achieve that goal by meeting parents where they are when you first engage with them and build from there.

A large component of meeting parents where they are is being able to identify and understand what you are seeing when you engage with the parent. When you work with parents of young children with disabilities, you are operating in a very intimate space in a family’s life.

You have been granted the privilege to witness some very raw and real emotions. As early interventionists, you spend time with parents who are processing and adapting to life during and after the traumatic parental experience of discovering their child requires additional assistance to maximize their personal potential. Most seasoned early intervention professionals are skilled at identifying these emotions, which are often tied to a process known as the stages of grief. However, the emotions that you witness during a parent’s evolution through this emotional development walk hand in hand with a parent’s progression of knowledge and understanding of characteristics of their child’s disability and the support needed to assist their child’s development. This process of knowing is identified as a parent’s levels of awareness.

Levels of Awareness

Parents of children with disabilities have four levels of awareness (Ulrich & Bauer,2003):

1. The Ostrich Phase
2. Special Designation
3. Normalization
4. Self-actualization

In this post, we are going to discuss the first level of awareness, The Ostrich Phase.

What do ostriches do?

Stick their heads in the sand, unaware of the surroundings.

The first level of awareness is actually a lack of awareness. Parents, who spend time in The Ostrich Phase, typically had very little experience with disability when they were growing up and may have little or no information about disabilities as an adult.

Remember, as the professional, you have the content knowledge. You have a pretty solid idea of what you are looking at, regarding development characteristics. However, parents may not initially have the information or awareness that allows them to identify characteristics in their child that seem very apparent to you. Some parents are completely unaware of the characteristics of disabilities in young children. They have been gifted with this precious child and they really don’t know what they are looking at just yet.

It is common for professionals to identify this level of awareness as denial, as it is at times paired with comments such as the following:

“My mother in law said my husband didn’t speak until he was five years old, and he’s fine now. He’s a doctor. She’s a slow starter like her dad.”

“He plays well with his brothers. He’s just hasn’t warmed up to preschool yet.”

“He’s just super active. So, he may not be stimulated by the activities offered at the preschool. I think he’s bored and acting out.”

“It’s a phase. We are just going to give her time to grow out of it.”

“Are you implying that there is something wrong with my kid? He’s just fine.”

While it may appear that parents are denying “the truth” or evidence and characteristics that seem apparent to you, they are simply operating on a level of awareness that has not exposed them to the information that you have. During The Ostrich Phase, parents are not yet able to see their child through the lens that your content knowledge enables you to see the developmental characteristics of their child. Therefore, the parent’s truth is based on the information they have. Consequently, the parent may truly believe “everything is just fine.”

So, sometimes it isn’t denial you are witnessing, but simply the evidence of things unknown – a lack of awareness.

Be Patient…It’s the Process

You may get a little push back during this phase, if you bring a parent information about the child that he or she had not yet considered.

Be prepared.
It’s not you.
It’s not the parent.
It’s the process.

Be patient with your families, as parents of young children with disabilities are developing in preparation for a lifelong journey of parenting their precious child. You have the honor of assisting them in this most sacred space.

Is there a time in your practice that you believe you may have mistook The Ostrich Phase for denial?

If so, considering your new knowledge, how would you engage differently during a similar encounter with a family now?

Check out El’s archived webinar: Mama Bear: Using Parent Narratives and Experience to Improve Engagement Practices

Be sure to read the other posts in this series:

Emerging Parenthood: Trust the Process – Don’t Rush the Process

Special Designation: The Parent’s Aha Moment

Normalization – The Hope Phase

Self-Actualization: Hello, I am the Parent of a Child with Disabilities

Reference:
Ulrich, M. E., & Bauer, A. M. (2003). Levels of awareness: A closer look at communication
between parents and professionals. Teaching Exceptional Children, 35(6), 20-24. Retrieved from https://search-proquest- com.mutex.gmu.edu/docview/201180599?accountid=14541

El is an educator, entrepreneur, author, and PhD student specializing in Early Childhood Education/Early Childhood Special Education at George Mason University. Prior to leaving the traditional classroom, El served as an Elementary and Early Childhood Educator in the United States, Japan, and South Korea. She is the founder of KinderJam, an Early Childhood Education care, enrichment, and training agency. Above all, El is the proud mother of an 11-year-old son on the autism spectrum, affectionately known as SuperDuperKid (SDK). El can be reached at elbrown@kinderjam.com

The post Levels of Awareness: The Ostrich Phase appeared first on Early Intervention Strategies for Success.

You are committed to helping families practice using intervention strategies during your visits. You truly believe that’s an important part of the intervention process. You’re very aware of your own interactions during visits and try hard not to “hog” all of the child’s attention. You redirect the child’s attention from you back to the parent whenever you can, use intentional modeling, and encourage the parent to engage her child. You know how to do this…but you still feel like it’s a struggle sometimes to stay in your lane.

True Confessions

Okay, true confessions time. The “you” here is actually me. Recently, I’ve been working with some wonderful families and am trying hard to be sure that they have opportunities to practice using intervention strategies. It’s hard, though, when the children behave as if they prefer to play with the biggest new toy in the room – me. I’m pretty good at making kids laugh, keeping their attention, and prompting them for words or actions. Plus, it’s just fun. However, I know that my strengths are not the totality of what’s needed here. Sure, I’m visiting to help the child learn and achieve the outcomes on the IFSP, but that’s not the whole reason I’m there. I absolutely believe that my actions on the visit will make the biggest impact if I use them to help the parent learn strategies she can use when I’m not there. I know what to do…it’s just the implementation part that can be hard.

Here’s the Challenge…

Here’s the challenge – we take what we “know” and “believe” and then have to use it in different homes with different families who have different ways of interacting with one another. They also likely have different understandings of how EI works, different ideas about why their child has a delay, different ideas about what will help, and different expectations for visits. We have to adjust what we do and how we do it to adapt to these differences.

As our field has evolved, we’ve learned that the best way to impact the child’s development is through the parent. We have to find ways to share what we know so the parent can confidently use that information between visits, when we aren’t there. Sure, we can just play with the child while the parent watches and hope he/she “gets” it. Or, we can use the visit to really partner with the parent to develop and practice intervention strategies with the child that match how they learn and interact. We can spend our time together reflecting on what the parent and child do together. We can problem-solve, plan, and practice strategies during the visit to help them achieve their goals. This requires us to stay in our lane – meaning that we remember our roles as coaches, consultants, and supports to parents, not just play partners and “teachers” of children.

4 Strategies to Help You Stay in Your Lane

Here are a few strategies that might help you stay in your lane:

Explain how the practice component of EI works at your first visit – Set the tone for good early intervention by explaining how you will work together with the child. Share your goal of using the visit as a practice session for the parent and child to try out intervention strategies, with your support, so they can use them between visits, when most of the learning will occur. Prepare the parent and she’s more likely to feel comfortable jumping in.

Take time to learn together – Let parents (and children) have time to warm up. Find out what they like to do, what they want help with, how they like to learn, and what is motivating for them.  This doesn’t mean that coaching has to wait…but sometimes it might take a few visits before the family is comfortable enough to be coached. During this warm-up time, you both are learning how to work together and that’s okay.

Be intentional – Go into the home with the mindset that you are there to help the parent and the child – not just the child. Be intentional about asking open-ended questions about what’s going well and where the struggles to find out how to help. Look for and seize parent-child interaction opportunities when the parent can practice using an intervention strategy. Be intentional in facilitating interaction, reflecting on it, sharing feedback, problem-solving and planning together.

Stay in your lane – Be mindful of what you’re doing in the moment. Pay attention to where you place yourself, what you do, and how you do it. Use your knowledge and skills to help the parent engage her child. Yes, you will use modeling. Yes, you will playfully engage the child. When you veer out of your coaching lane and find yourself as the biggest toy in the room for too long, swerve back into your lane and refocus.

The truth is that, even with these strategies, every visit is different and some will be awesome, while others will leave you feeling glad you have a do-over next week. We have to be patient with ourselves and with families, remembering that we are partners who are growing and learning together. Walking in the door with the intention to stay in your lane and make room for parents to practice using strategies with their children is a great place to start.

When you’ve swerved out of your lane for too long, what do you do?

How do you keep your focus on facilitating parent-child engagement and practice during your visits?

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While working through the emotions that come with parenting a child with disabilities, there was also a steep learning curve. A journey of awareness that I had to go through in preparation to parent my child. As the mother of a child with disabilities, my journey has included emotions that many professionals would easily recognize as elements in the stages of grief. However, while navigating that spectrum of emotions, I also experienced a continuum of awareness as I gained knowledge about my child and how the disability manifested itself in my child for a lifetime.

My journey of awareness included teaching, nurturing, and advocating for my son. In later years, with additional research, I learned that this process of awareness that I experienced was not an experience that was specific to me. It was a process that emerging parents of children with disabilities experience at the onset of their parenting journey. This process is referred to as a parent’s levels of awareness.

Making Plans for the New Baby

When a family discovers a new baby is on the way, it can be the happiest of times. So much hope, so many dreams for the future of this new life. A baby, while still in the womb, becomes very real to the parents.

They begin to make plans for their child. Not just plans for the immediate future, but visions of long term endeavors dance through the minds of parents. They choose a name, then decide the type of person their child will be. They dream about what sport or extracurricular activity the child will participate in…how many friends the child will have…who the child will take to the prom…what college the child will attend…what profession the child will select. Some parents even dream of when their child will be old enough to have a family of his own, so the parents can enjoy being retired and grandparents.

That’s a lot of promise placed on an unborn child. But we, as parents, do it every day. We cast our hope and dreams of the future on very small children. The vision of these hopes and dreams are very real to us.

Discovering the Child’s Disability

Now fast forward three years later and the same parents, who held these very real hopes and dreams for their child in their hearts, find out that their little one is going to need special support, support for needs that will alter the parents’ original vision. This occurrence can throw even the most prepared parent for a loop. Discovering your child has a disability is a parental trauma.

Even for veteran parents, parenting a first child with a disability is a completely new experience. Additionally, if a parent has limited or no prior experience with disabilities, parenting a child with disabilities is unchartered territory with a steep learning curve. However, with support, parents can develop patterns of positive adaptation that will aid in the process of confidently parenting a child with disabilities.

Understanding the Parent’s Journey

That’s where you as early interventionists, come in. You can best assist the families you serve by understanding that this journey of parent understanding and skill building takes time.

In the coming weeks, we will discuss and explore the levels of awareness that emerging parents of children with disabilities experience, as they develop their parenting self-efficacy. This knowledge will help you, as service providers, better understand the process that the parents you serve experience at the beginning of their parenting journey.

Sometimes, early interventionists want parents to hurry up and see the world and their child the way that the interventionist does. I understand. I was guilty of trying to rush my spouse through this process. However, appreciating each stage in a parent’s levels of awareness will illuminate your ability to trust the process – not rush the process.

Remember a parent’s journey of parenting their child with disabilities spans a lifetime. Just like the children you serve, parents, too, take time to develop.

How do you view the role you play in assisting with the development of emerging parents of young children with disabilities?

Check out El’s archived webinar: Mama Bear: Using Parent Narratives and Experience to Improve Engagement Practices

Be sure to read the other posts in this series:

Levels of Awareness: The Ostrich Phase

Special Designation: The Parent’s Aha Moment

Normalization – The Hope Phase

Self-Actualization: Hello, I am the Parent of a Child with Disabilities

El is an educator, entrepreneur, author, and PhD student specializing in Early Childhood Education/Early Childhood Special Education at George Mason University. Prior to leaving the traditional classroom, El served as an Elementary and Early Childhood Educator in the United States, Japan, and South Korea. She is the founder of KinderJam, an Early Childhood Education care, enrichment, and training agency. Above all, El is the proud mother of an 11-year-old son on the autism spectrum, affectionately known as SuperDuperKid (SDK). El can be reached at elbrown@kinderjam.com

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On the blog, we often speak from the perspective of the EI professional. Switching up this “voice” a bit is not only fun, but it may help us understand more about the culture of some of our families. The tips I will share are from the millennial parent’s viewpoint in hopes of using their interpretation to help us reach them more effectively. As an Early Intervention professional of 10 years, an Educator to teens and an individual born sandwiched in the middle of the Millennials and the Generation-X’ers, I must say that the two groups communicate completely differently from one another. At times, without proper insight, it can cause a bit of frustration among both groups. Understanding the “why” behind some of the cultural variances is the foundation to building great, impactful relationships. Due to my unique perspective, I’ve noted 11 Things a Millennial Parent Wished a Generation-X EI Provider Knew.

My List

1. Sorry to make you feel uncomfortable but texting me is best. If you want to reach me, text first, email next, call last. I’m more apt to respond.

2. When explaining EI, connect coaching with something that I’m interested in such as sports. It’s more likely to stick.

3. I learn a lot by demonstration. Watching YouTube videos have taught me to watch first then imitate what I see. Use the media to your advantage.

4. Show me child friendly apps to help my little one learn. Because we are often on the phone and tablet, what better way to coach me than to use apps that are readily available.

5. Help me to write goals to include mention of my favorite shows, apps or songs. My little one is often inundated with my culture so barking like a dog because we use the snapchat lens/filter is right up my alley.

6. If you arrive and I’m texting, know that I have mastered multi-tasking. Don’t get offended, I’m not ignoring you.

7. Remind me to put our next appointment in my phone as an alarm or reminder. Writing on the back of a card or on a piece of paper is so outdated.

8. I’m very relaxed so coming in with suits may make me feel uncomfortable. It will be harder to build a coaching relationship with you because now I look at you as an authority figure. Relax, I’ll receive you better this way.

9. Video me suggestions or even send me website or app links like this one from the CDC . I’m sure to use them. It’s even fun to engage me with one during our session. Coaching me this way is fun. I look at visual apps all day so this is definitely speaking my language.

10. If I send you a social media request, take it as a compliment. I must really like you. Don’t ignore it because it effects rapport. Instead let me know your policy. I’ll understand.

11. My communication is often short and to the point. It doesn’t mean I’m not engaged or interested in our dialogue but texting has taught me not to participate in much small talk.

I hope this blog post helps all of us understand Millennials and how they communicate. Let me know if you believe these tips were helpful. If you have any other advice to add from the perspective of a Millennial or you’ve provided services to this generation and believe you have some great information to share, I want to hear from you! Share your thoughts below!

Tier-ra Henry is a spunky millennial who has provided Developmental Services with ITC of Hampton-Newport News for 7 1/2 years. She got her start as a Service Coordinator with Norfolk ITC but after drooling over the fun, creative things the therapist did with the kiddos, she made a switch to serve her hometown with more direct services. She is the mother of an AMAZING 11 year old up-and-coming actress. You can find Tier-ra in the city with her trendy clothes, serving her community and building a strong rapport with families while making learning super fun. In her spare time she is a Personal Stylist. She is a strong advocate for families and believes her job as a Developmental Service Provider allows her to use her heart for social justice and creativity to serve children. She holds a Bachelors of Social Work degree from Norfolk State University.

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There are many frameworks for leadership but one of my favorite is The FISH! Philosophy. It is a proven way to find joy and energy in our work. The FISH! Philosophy is inspired by a group of fishmongers from Seattle’s Pike Place Fish Market. This team is a shining example of how you can create a culture and workplace that encourages people to flourish. Being a fishmonger is obviously hard work, despite the cold and harsh conditions, they have found a way to harness a positive attitude and have fun at work. Here is their story (cited from http://www.fishphilosophy.com/ The FISH! Philosophy® ChartHouse Learning Corporation):

Documentary filmmaker John Christensen was shopping in Seattle when he heard cheering in the distance. Curious, he followed the sound and encountered a crowd surrounding a small fish market—World Famous Pike Place Fish, to be exact. Suddenly a fishmonger fired a slippery salmon to a coworker, who made a spectacular one-handed catch as the crowd applauded. He invited a delighted customer to catch a fish.
The positive energy was electric.
The fishmongers greeted strangers like old friends. Despite the noise and bustle, when a fishmonger focused on serving a customer, it was as if they were the only two people in the world. Everyone was smiling—and buying lots of fish. John noticed that selling fish looked cold and exhausting, yet these fishmongers attacked their work with energy and engagement. He wondered, “How do they do it?”
“I want what these guys have.”
John brought a camera crew back to the market and spent several days with the fishmongers. When he and his team analyzed the footage, they identified four simple practices the fishmongers brought to their work that anyone could use to be successful.

How Does This Apply to Early Intervention?

As leaders in early intervention, we need to build effective teams. When a team lives these four simple practices, it builds trust, teamwork, appreciation and accountability—the foundation every team needs to excel:

1. Be There
Be emotionally present for people. It’s a powerful message of respect that improves communication and strengthens relationships.

• When coaching caregivers and teaming with your colleagues, to “be there” is to be fully engaged in the moment, inviting opportunities and sharing the experience together.

2. Play
Tap into your natural way of being creative, enthusiastic and having fun. Play is the spirit that drives the curious mind, as in “Let’s play with that idea!” You can bring this mindset to everything you do in your work with families and colleagues.

• Play is not a specific game or activity. It is a state of mind that brings new energy to the tasks at hand and sparks creative solutions. Bring play into coaching and watch how innovative caregivers become in coming up with their own ideas and solutions.

3. Make Their Day
Find simple ways to serve or delight people in a meaningful, memorable way. It’s about contributing to someone else’s life—not because you want something, but because that’s the person you want to be.

• If you find your energy lapsing, find someone who needs a helping hand, a word of support and a good ear- and make their day.
• Hold a door, say “thank you”, ask about a person’s family or simply tell someone how much you appreciate them.
• Use stories and memories to engage people.
• Take a genuine interest in the unique gifts of others.
• Make the effort to brighten someone’s day. Be the person you want to be.

4. Choose Your Attitude
Take responsibility for how you respond to what life throws at you. Your choice affects others. Ask yourself: “Is my attitude helping my team or my clients? Is it helping me to be the person I want to be?

• There is always a choice about the way you do your work even if there is not a choice about the work itself.
• Be aware of what your attitude is and how it affects you and others.
• Once you are aware of the impact your attitude has on others, you may view your attitude differently, even if the situation or person that prompted the attitude hasn’t changed.

The FISH! Philosophy helps colleagues to create a Be There culture where people feel heard and supported. It reminds everyone to Make Their Day, so they can show colleagues and clients they are valued. It frees them to Play with new ideas and be themselves in a safe environment. And it helps people to be aware of their impact on others, understanding that to create the kind of day that leaves you fulfilled you have the power to Choose Your Attitude. Whether you are a service coordinator, a provider or a manager, leadership starts with YOU!

Anne Brager is a Technical Assistance Consultant with the Infant & Toddler Connection of Virginia. She can be reached at anne.brager@dbhds.virginia.gov.

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